My point in writing these ditties, in addition to shameless self-promotion, is to try to demonstrate how various issues in the news would play out in the world of lawyers.
Tag: Donald Trump
I grew up fantasizing about killing Nazis. In fact I did that almost every day. We called it “Playing Army”, with real WWII guns and…
It’s been nearly impossible to write blogs over the past year or two. There has been such an embarrassment of riches in terms of legal subject matter in the news. And since January, as we all know if we have working brains, it has been coming so fast and furiously that by the time I have written something it is already old news, replaced by whatever strange goings-on have occurred in the past hour or two.
Used to be that a good legal issue worthy of writing about came up about once a week if you were lucky. Sometimes you would get two or three in one week and have trouble picking out one to focus on. Now they come up two or three times a day.
You know that feeling you get when something seems very familiar to you but you know it isn’t?
I got that recently when I was listening to one of the Presidential candidates wax poetic about every little detail concerning their poll numbers, on and on ad nauseam. I’m not even sure who it was (other than it wasn’t Kasich – for obvious reasons). Listening to them, I got this knot in my gut that this was somehow an intimately personal experience I had once had. But I couldn’t see how. I am a lawyer, not a politician.
There was that one time I ran for election myself. But it couldn’t be that… I am pretty sure Gallup wasn’t running any major polls to monitor the Island County Superior Court Judge job at the time. No, it was hard enough just reminding people to remember to vote in the primary when there was basically no press coverage.
Then it hit me.
Politicians and Criminal Defense lawyers are very much alike.
image by Personalincome.org
Finally. I found a way to be able to talk about this crazy election. I’ve been dying to, but I haven’t been able to. You see, the problem is that I try to stay neutral here, and the fact is that it’s virtually impossible these days to say one word about anything online without being accused of being partial to one side or the other.
I mean, even when I write about the “God of All Things Conservative” for the past few decades, Antonin Scalia, and say what a great writer he was, or how sweet it was that he was able to be BFF’s with Ruth Bader Ginsburg, or how much I loved to read his opinions, or how important some of his opinions were, (e.g. masterpieces like Crawford or Blakely or Johnson), along comes my Marine Colonel brother in law describing my blog as “left leaning” (sorry Chris, but I owed you that.)
One of the fundamental rules of blogging for me is trying to stay neutral. Except that I do not know a single person who is neutral about this election. That’s the first time in my adult life that has happened – which got me thinking. Thinking about what the heck is going to happen once we get to the actual election. Of course, I’ve been wondering that for months.
I have finally found a very obvious framework to analyze this all in a legally oriented way that works. And if anyone calls it “left leaning” I give up. That would be hopeless. But there is hope.
“I’m the BEST BLOGGER EVER! Really! My blogs are so wonderful and entertaining and smart. Because why? Because I am so smart. And SUCH a great writer! Did I mention that?!? Really really really great. Dickens Great. Shakespeare Great. Heck, even Louis L’Amour Great. So, Great! Let’s face it— I’m Great!”
Sound demented? Try this:
“I’m the BEST LAWYER EVER! Really! I’m so great. I win so many trials it would make your head spin. If you hire me I am going to do such an amazing and brilliant job in court that people will weep. Seriously! Trust ME! People say I’m arrogant. Whatever. WHATEVER! I am what I am and they are all jealous. And stupid. Really, really stupid.”